I'd Rather Eat Pistachio Ice Cream Than Feel Real Pain

I recently came across a sign that read: I’d rather have champagne than real pain. I must have subconsciously channeled its effervescent mentality because I went straight for plucky, unapologetic items with intention; gave myself permission to take a break from my problems; and put the less-than-fun things in my life on hold this week. Full speed, right into the thick of it.

I wore red high heels. Drank champagne cocktails. Roasted chicken in bacon fat. Finally ordered that deer antler bookshelf I'd been eyeing. That sort of thing. To sum up: I went overboard.

Naturally, this included ice cream. Pistachio. Yes, a rich, dense, gutsy green pistachio flavor was definitely in order. So I added a nearly committable amount of pistachios and did not look back. (Those that don't wholeheartedly like pistachio need not apply here.)

As a result, it's entirely possible that this frozen treat might be suffering from an identity crisis, as it can't decide whether it's gelato or ice cream. It started out innocently enough as a light gelato base, but the pistachios may have pushed its density into ice cream territory.

Don't spend too much time thinking about this. The whole point is to have a good time. This is precisely what ice cream is for. When people scream for it, they don't do it out of confusion. (Self medication, perhaps.) Mostly, they know exactly what they are getting themselves into.

So the gelato "that once was" is now in my freezer. A wonderful addition to the warmer weather we’ve been having. And a fabulous sidekick for champagne when fighting "reality." Which got me thinking. Not only would I rather have champagne than real pain, I'd rather eat ice cream than face my problems. I realize I can't keep this up forever. But for right now, pass the pistachio please.

Pistachio Pistachio Ice Cream

1 cup whole milk

2 tbsp cornstarch

1 cup half and half

1/3 cup sugar

2 cups shelled pistachios

~2/3 cup honey, corn syrup, or sweetener of your choosing

Pinch of salt

Juice one lemon

Splash of almond extract

Splash of cointreau

Combine 1/4 cup milk with cornstarch until smooth. Heat remaining milk and half and half in a saucepan with sugar. When milk is almost boiling, add cornstarch mixture and cook for about 3-5 minutes, until mixture becomes thick; remove and let chill in the refrigerator, ideally overnight.

While mixture is chilling, prepare pistachio paste by combining remaining ingredients (except cointreau) in a food processor. Taste and add additional sugar as needed. You may also need to thin the paste out slightly with a little water. Refrigerate until ready to make ice cream.

Whisk pistachio paste into chilled milk mixture and freeze in an ice cream maker (should take about 25 minutes). The last 5 minutes, add cointreau.

Makes about 3 cups

Notes:

-Honestly, you could probably cut the pistachio amount in half (and reduce the sugar) and still feel quite pleased with yourself. But this week called for double the pistachio (and double the fun).