The Cesar. It Hits You Right in the Skull.

As a present, my little brother recently gave me a glass skull shot glass and a blank composition book titled, “People I Want to Punch in the Face.”  We Gelsomins are not a violent bunch.  But we do have a sick sense of humor.

I mention this because I finally had the chance to use my new morbid barware last Sunday.  Turns out, one and a half ounces of vodka fills up to the skull’s would-be procerus—the booze hits right underneath the eyebrows.

But right.  I am not here to talk faux-skull anatomy.  No.  I am here to discuss a better Bloody Mary.  A lighter, more whimsical Bloody Mary.  If you allow my use of whimsy and blood in the same sentence. 

To complicate matters a tad, this cocktail is technically called a César.  (And I will henceforth leave figures with murderous undertones out of this.) The drink is essentially a Canadian version of the standard aforementioned brunch cocktail. 

This recipe comes from the brains behind Joe Beef and Liverpool House, Frédéric Morin and David McMillan.  Brilliant men.  The two have mastered the art of fanciful, nostalgic food.

They do things like serve Hot Oysters on the Radio.  (Or on bags of sugar, erotic novels, albums, whatever.)  They’ve been known to bring their own foie gras on train trips.  And their own vintage glassware when ice fishing.

They also subscribe to extreme cocktail garnishing.  Which is fine by me.  A mutiny of accoutrement is precisely what I’m after.

I recommend a lemon and lime slice for starters.  The obligatory celery stalk, of course.  Perhaps a pickle, an olive or two, and preferably at least one type of shellfish.  Dave and I decided a plump oyster crown would do.

The cocktail is spicy, savory, and skillfully employs Clamato juice as a vodka transporter of sorts.

And they go down easy.  So watch it.  You don’t want to end up on anyone’s face-punching list.

The César

Adapted from The Art of Living According to Joe Beef: A Cookbook of Sorts by Frédéric Morin, David McMillan, and Meredith Erickson

Ingredients:

Old Bay seasoning (for garnish) (or you could try this)

1½ ounces of vodka (up to the eyebrows in a skull shot glass, or one shot)

dash of Worcestershire

few dashes of Tabasco

½ tsp grated horseradish, or to taste

salt and pepper, to taste

4 to 6 ounces Clamato juice

at least one lemon and lime wedge or slice

2 olives

1 pickle spear

1 celery stalk

1 raw oyster

Instructions:

Place the Old Bay or seasoning mixture on a plate.  Dip the edge of a pint glass into water or rub it with the wedge of a lemon.  Turn the glass upside down and press the edge into the seasoning, moving it gently in a circular motion to help the spices stick.

Fill the glass at least halfway with ice.  Add the vodka, Worcestershire, Tabasco, horseradish, and a pinch of salt and pepper.  Fill the glass up with Clamato to the top (allowing a little room for garnish displacement).  Stir, taste, and adjust the seasoning, as needed.

Add in the citrus, olives, pickle spear, and celery.  Top with an opened oyster, or seafood garnish of your choice.

Makes one cocktail.

Notes:

-In a pinch, I used ground piment d’Espelette and a little salt in place of the Old Bay.

-A lobster claw would be a keen addition.  Other pickled vegetables, such as dilly beans, would be wonderful here, as well.

-You can see both the subtle skull shot glass and Bostonian Bully Boy vodka bottle in the background.  This is just an aside.

-Don't have Clamato?  Try one part tomato juice to two parts clam juice, as suggested here.

Watermelon Cocktails and the Last Flash of Summer

Summer, it’s slipping away from us.  It’s going out with the muggy evenings and thunderstorms.  Except it's quietly creeping, instead of flashing and booming away into the distance. 

But just like that, it will be gone.  If I had my way, I’d be sitting in a creaky rocking chair on an old wooden porch watching the thunderbolts in the distance and listening to Lana Del Rey, with summer disintegrating around me. 

And sipping this cocktail.  This watermelon number is a doozy. The perfect base for a lazy evening.  It took kindly to white tequila and a salted glass rim last week. But it would work equally with Boston-based Bully Boy's white whiskey, which has a sweet, very slight smokiness to it. 

As for Lana?  Her song “Videogames” is the quintessential late summer melody.  It’s sultry.  Heady.  You want it to last a little bit longer.  Sipping a strong watermelon drink and listening to her just lends itself to romancing about summer memories.

Singing in the old bars. Swinging with the old stars.  Living for the fame.  Kissing in the blue dark. Playing pool and wild darts.  Video games.

Ohhh, she’s good.  Something about her haunting lyrics paired with this drink makes saying goodbye to summer a little easier.

So so long sun dresses.  And tan lines.  Carefree evenings.  And leaving the back door open. I’m not sure if the watermelon or the whiskey will run out first. But I can’t think of a better way for it to go.

Watermelon Cocktail

Ingredients:

1/2 cup sugar

Pinch of kosher salt

1 small watermelon (or about 6 cups cut in 1" chunks)

2-3 limes, freshly squeezed

1.5-1.75 cups of liquor (white tequila, bourbon, etc.)

Instructions:

Combine 1/2 cup sugar with 1/2 cup water to make a simple syrup in a saucepan.  Heat sugar water on medium heat until sugar dissolves completely.  Set aside.

Blend watermelon with the juice of two limes in a food processor or blender; add simple syrup. (Depending on the size of your processor you may have to do this in two batches.)  Taste and add the juice of another lime depending on preference.  Add booze.

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add watermelon mixture.  Shake mixture and strain into glasses with additional ice cubes.  

Makes about 6 cocktails 

Notes:

-I love margaritas with salt.  If you'd like to salt the rim of your glass, rub a wedge of lime around the outer lip of your glass and then dip the glass upside down into a plate containing kosher salt.  You could also just use water, simply dip you glass in a small plate of water and then salt.

-If you are making margaritas, use white tequila.  It provides a cleaner flavor.  ("They" also say it provides less of a hangover.)  (Each drink has about 2 ounces of liquor in it.)

-This mixture can be frozen, with or without booze, until it is needed.  Defrost the night before you plan to use it in your fridge.  (Note that it will not freeze completely if there is alcohol in it.)

-Lana Del Rey's song Video Games will be released on October 9th.  You can also listen to it here.  I first heard her from The Dinner Party Download.  All good stuff.