Magically Delicious

Thirty-four was my scary age. 

The time at which, I was once told, my fertility would drop swiftly, like an Oldsmobile sailing off a cliff.  The time at which being unmarried and without a mortgage would place a searing spotlight on me as an adult fraud.  The time at which I would be guaranteed to die a grim death alone, perhaps eaten by pet canaries.

This, of course, is ludicrous.

I am not alone.  Plus most of my friends are now my scary age.  Which makes my impending situation less frightening. Strength in numbers.

But on the days my consciousness is dialed up, I can detect certain vicissitudes.

I notice that bodily things are starting to shift down, and spread.

I notice that my memory is not as elastic as it once was.  I find myself searching for words like chamomile and amuse-bouche.  This can no longer be correlated with prior gin ingestion, either.

I notice that my friends with children have all vacated the city.  Some days it feels like an emotional fallout shelter—where cultivated adult relationships are unreachable due to nuclear war caused by the whims of toddlers and unaffordable housing. 

I notice that some places I love have vacated as well.  Like the shockingly recently departure of River Gods, a bar that offered equally good beef and vegetable-based burgers; poured decent beers; and hung things like mermaids or witches or stars from ceiling, depending on the season.  I have had multiple friends live near River Gods.  They have since moved too.

But there are new homes of old friends to visit. There are new friends too. There are new restaurants and new recipes, like this frozen negroni I recently stumbled across. Because I am nearing thirty-four and still alive and enthusiastically capable of drinking something alcoholic made in a blender. 

I also recently found a recipe for cornflake chocolate chip marshmallow cookies from Momofuku Milk Bar that I thought might distract my aging corpse.  Except Corn Flakes were a common breakfast option growing up and I felt compelled to bake with the type of cereal that I was never allowed to eat as a child.  Because I am securely an adult and can do such things.

The result is a cookie with not one, but two forms of marshmallows.  It is a sweet dessert, for sure, but also salty and chewy and thereby addictive to any human with taste buds and a childhood rooted in the mid-twentieth century or beyond.

I mean, what kind of person is not, at least slightly, intrigued by such a cookie?  (No one I want to know.)  Or so I thought. 

Through some research I learned Lucky Charms are more or less glorified Cherrios (another Gelsomin sanctioned childhood breakfast) with added marshmallows.  These confections are officially known as marbits and were originally based on circus peanuts.  Circus peanuts!  Which I hate.

So there you have it, another story about getting older. More or less a collection of the truths we sell, stories mixed with the circus peanuts of youth and the Lucky Charms of adulthood. It is probably best not to take your marbits too seriously.  As Anne Lamott once wrote “the truth is we are all terminal on this bus.”

So I guess the new truth is that thirty-three plus is not a scary prospect at all, if you stay curious and adaptive. In fact, given some recent evidence, it’s magically delicious.

Toasted Lucky Charms Marshmallow Chocolate Chip Cookies

Inspired by Momofuku Milk Bar by Christina Tosi

Ingredients:

for the toasted Lucky Charms crunch

100 grams (¼ cup plus 3 tbsp) butter

125 grams (3¾ cups) separated Lucky Charms oat cereal (without marshmallows)

30 grams (¼ cup plus 2 tbsp) dry milk powder (see notes)

20 grams (1½ tbsp) sugar

3 grams (¾ tsp) kosher salt

for the cookie batter

225 grams (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

250 grams (1¼ cups) sugar

150 grams (2/3 packed cup) light brown sugar

1 egg

2 grams (½ tsp) vanilla extract

240 grams (1½ to 2 cups) all-purpose flour (see notes)

2 grams (½ tsp) baking powder

1½ grams (¼ tsp) baking soda

5 grams (1¼ tsp) salt

230 grams (all the recipe, or about 3 cups) toasted Lucky Charms crunch (see instructions)

100 grams (1 cup of ¼-inch pieces) dark chocolate (see notes)

30 grams (about ¾ cup) mini marshmallows

45 grams (about 1½ cups) separated Lucky Charms marshmallows (marbits)

Instructions:

To make the toasted Lucky Charms crunch

Set the oven to 275 degrees.

In a small saucepan, melt the butter on medium to medium-low heat, swirling the pan occasionally, until it starts to caramelize and smell nutty (about 5 to 7 minutes).

Meanwhile in a medium bowl, place the separated Lucky Charms oat cereal and crush it with the end of a rolling pin until it is one-quarter of the original size (it is okay if pieces vary slightly in size). Add the milk powder, sugar, and salt and mix to combine. Pour in the butter and toss to coat (the mixture will get moist but not enough to clump together).

Line a sheet pan with parchment paper and spread the cereal mixture on the paper.  Bake for 30 or 40 minutes or until fragrant and slightly toasted in color. Let cool. (This can be made ahead of time and stored in an airtight container.)

To make the cookies

In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the softened butter, sugar, and brown sugar; cream together with a paddle attachment on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes.  With a spatula, scrape down the sides and then add the egg and vanilla and beat for about 8 minutes.

Meanwhile in a medium bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

Reduce the mixer speed to low, add the sifted dry goods and mix until the dough just comes together.  Remove the bowl from the stand and, with a spatula, add in the Lucky Charms crunch, chocolate, and both types of marshmallows; mixing until just incorporated.

Line a sheet pan with parchment paper and portion out heaping ¼ cup size scoops (about 50 to 60 grams each). Wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate (ideally overnight but for a minimum of one hour).

When you are ready to bake, set the oven to 375 degrees.  Line a sheet pan with parchment paper and arrange the scoops of cookie dough four inches apart. (Two sheet pans can be prepared and baked at a time.)  Bake for about 18 minutes or until the cookies brown along the edges and the centers are no longer pale and doughy.

Cool the cookies on the sheet pans.  (They will harden as they cool, forming crisp edges and soft middles.)  Transfer to a plate or container.  Repeat until all the cookie dough has been baked off.

Makes about 20 cookies

Notes:

-I like Meyenberg goat milk powder.

-For the flour, I went with the gram measurement (the book said 240 grams was 1½ cups but using my measuring cup it was closer to 2 cups).

-I used Wild Ophelia 70% dark chocolate laced with BBQ potato chips, because why not?

-Oh the picture?  We are celebrating a birthday of thirty-four, in the Boston Harbor.

An Unconventional Valentine

There is a negative thirty-six degree wind chill in Boston today.  It is Valentine’s Day.  In hopes of a nice meal, Brett and I have sacrificed three chickens for the preparation of a ramen broth from the sadistic souls at Momofuku.

In a peculiar development that speaks to the mental illness of my family, my brother—who lives in Virginia where it is a balmy fourteen degrees—is making the very same ramen.  Consequently, there was no discussion of our respective soup plans, nor was there collusion to use broth to fight the cold four hundred miles apart. 

We are simply cut from the same cloth of people who will spend, at minimum, ten ungodly hours hacking chickens and reducing steeped kombu.  Our lineage has the patience for such a task and the stupidity not to know better.

Momofuku ramen is a bitch, in the words of my brother. (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

Luckily, the people we attract—the depraved souls—find this activity somewhere along the spectrum of romance and gratuitous torment.

I do not have this recipe for you today.  You will never get the hours calculating the weight of deboned animal carcasses and rendered bacon fat back. One can only hope, for the good of humanity, there are but few humans capable of such idiocy outside the confines of a professional kitchen.

I do, however, have a very good cookie recipe for you, sane person.  One that should surprise and delight without bone cracking or blood or cursing, if done properly.

It uses only five ingredients and shamelessly declines flour, making the cookies needlessly—but deliciously—hip.  That they are gluten-free is not the point.  The point is that they are quite good and easy and suitable for your friends with celiac disease. 

The concept is fairly simple.  Take peanut butter (a winning beginning) and add brown sugar and eggs and three hundred and fifty degrees.  I thought about making them again and adding in cayenne and scraped vanilla bean seeds.  But I did not have the energy today.  You can imagine what babysitting a painfully slow simmering pot of chicken parts and pulverized mushrooms does to a person.

In essence, this recipe is about as far away as one can get from Momofuku ramen.  None of the ingredients require research, nor do you have to involve a calculator at any point in the process. (Odds are you probably have the necessary items in your pantry right now.)

There are, however, a few unifying factors worth mentioning.  Both recipes have New York origins—hailing from very popular city spaces—and are very good.

They are also both capable of heating up the joint.  Which is really the whole point on a day like today. 

Sea Salted Peanut Butter Cookies

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen and Ovenly: Sweet and Salty Recipes from NewYork’s Most Creative Bakery

Ingredients:

1¾ cups (335 grams) packed light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1¾ cups (450 grams or one 16-ounce jar) of smooth peanut butter (see note)

Sea salt, for garnish

Instructions:

In a medium bowl, whisk together the light brown sugar and eggs until smooth.  Whisk in the vanilla extract and the peanut butter until everything becomes fully combined and turns lighter in color.  It will not be as thick as regular cookie dough.

Chill the dough in the freezer for about 30 minutes. This will help the dough set and scoop well. 

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

When ready, take out the cookie dough.  If the edges of the dough look like they have frozen a bit, stir the dough again briefly.  Scoop out about 2 heaping tablespoons of dough per cookie, setting the mounds a couple inches apart.  (Having a scooper is helpful.)  You should be able to fit about 10 to 12 cookies per sheet. Sprinkle each mound lightly with sea salt.

Place one sheet of cookies in the freezer for 15 minutes.  This is the first one you will bake.  Place the other sheet of cookies in the fridge.  Set the oven to 350 degrees.

After 15 minutes, place the freezer sheet into the oven and place the fridge sheet into the freezer.  Keeping the cookies very cold will help them keep their shape better.

Bake the cookies for 15 to 20 minutes, or until they turn golden at the edges.  The middles will still be slightly soft.  Let the cookies set for a minute or two on the hot sheet and then transfer to a wire rack to cool.  Repeat with remaining cookies. 

Let cool completely before eating.  This will help the cookies properly set so that their edges are crisp and their centers are chewy.

Makes about 20 cookies

Notes:

-I only tried this with regular (not natural) peanut butter. Processed peanut butter is alleged to yield a better shape.

-The longer you keep the scooped cookies chilled the longer their cooking time will be, so be flexible with their time in the oven, if necessary.

A Very Particular Cake, Triple-Layer Vanilla Cacao Nib with Passion Fruit Curd and Coffee Frosting

This morning I woke up, brewed some coffee, made a fruit salad, and decided that today was the day to superlatively discuss cake.  A painstaking cake.  Supremely vanilla with its top frosted in coffee icing and its insides stuck together with passion fruit curd, studded with cacao nibs.

I am here to say confection doesn’t get much better than this.

The downside to discovering the greatest cake in the world is that it is even more of a pain in the ass to write about.  The recipe is really a collection of five smaller recipes, which means if you are interested in eating the greatest cake in the world you’ve got your work cut out for you.

You could also try and befriend someone you deem mad enough to take on such a project.  But even this has its downsides. Those who complete such tasks are usually quite particular people.  Adjectives such as stubborn and quixotic come to mind. 

Moving on.

The recipe comes from Milk Bar, of the Momofuku fame.  It was originally very modern in design.  Its frosting insides clearly visible from the outside. Three-tiered layers standing trim and tall and capable of serving six to eight people. 

However, this required acetate strips, a 6-inch cake ring, and the abolishment of a half dozen friends.  So my version is a little stockier.  A little less refined. And with the addition of cacao nibs instead of mini chocolate chips.  Because I’m particular when it comes to chocolate.

All and all it’s an outstanding cake, capable of comfortably feeding a baker's dozen.  People whom you must like very much.

Triple-Layer Vanilla Cacao Nib Cake with Passion Fruit Curd and Coffee Frosting

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar by Christina Tosi

Ingredients:

for the passion fruit syrup

5 passion fruit

50 g (¼ cup) sugar

juice of ½ a lime

pinch of salt

splash of vanilla extract

for the passion fruit curd (this will make extra)

200 g (1 cup) passion fruit puree (see note below)

130 g (2/3 cup) sugar

4 eggs

1 tsp powdered gelatin

340 g (3 sticks) butter, cold and cut into 1-inch pieces

2 g (½ tsp) kosher salt

for the chocolate cookie crumbs

50 g (1/3 cup) flour

2 g (½ tsp) cornstarch

50 g (¼ cup) sugar

35 g (1/3 cup) unsweetened cocoa powder

2 g (½ tsp) kosher salt

45 g (3 tbsp) butter, melted

for the vanilla cacao nib cake

230 g (2 sticks) butter, room temperature

500 g (2½ cups) sugar

120 g (½ cup) light brown sugar, packed

6 eggs

220 g (1 cup) buttermilk

150 g (1 cup) canola oil

25 g (2 tbsp) vanilla extract

370 g (3 cups) cake flour (see note)

8 g (2 tsp) baking powder

8 g (2 tsp) kosher salt

1½ cups chocolate covered cacao nibs, divided

for the coffee frosting

230 g (2 sticks) butter, room temperature

80 g (½ cup) confectioners sugar (sift if it’s clumpy)

110 g (½ cup) whole milk

3 g (½ tbsp) instant espresso powder (I’ve used up to 1 scant tbsp)

1 g (¼ tsp) kosher salt

Directions:

for the passion fruit syrup

In a medium saucepan, combine the pulp from 5 passion fruit, sugar, juice, and salt.  Heat until the sugar dissolves and the mixture comes together, stirring occasionally (2 to 4 minutes; you should end up with a little more than ½ cup); stir in vanilla extract.  Refrigerate until ready to use. It will thicken slightly as it cools and should be the texture of runny marmalade. (This can be made well in advance; it can also be frozen: defrost before using.) 

for the passion fruit curd

In a food processor, add 1 cup passion fruit puree and the sugar and blend until the sugar granules have dissolved.  Add the eggs and blend until the mixture turns orange-yellow in color.  Transfer the mixture to a medium saucepan and clean the food processor.

Heat the passion fruit mixture over low heat, whisking regularly.  It will start to thicken (keep a close eye on it). Right before it starts to boil, bloom the gelatin in a small bowl by stirring in 1½ tbsp of cold water (it should only sit a minute or two).

Once the mixture boils, quickly add it to your food processor along with the gelatin and butter (be careful not to overcook the curd); blend in the food processor until it becomes shiny and smooth.  Place in an airtight container and refrigerate. (This can be made up to 1 week ahead.)

for the chocolate cookie crumbs

Set the oven to 300 degrees.  In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the flour, cornstarch, sugar, cocoa, and salt and mix on low speed with the paddle attachment until combined.  With the mixer running, pour in the melted butter and mix until it starts to clump.

On a parchment-lined cookie sheet, spread the clumped chocolate mixture and bake for about 20 minutes.  The clumps should still be slightly moist (they will harden as they cool).  Break up any very large clumps.  Let cool and store in an airtight container. (They can be made up to 1 week ahead and stored at room temperature, or in the freezer for longer.)

for the vanilla cacao nib cake

Set the oven to 350 degrees.  Butter, line with parchment paper, and butter again three 9-inch cake pans.  In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and sugars with the paddle attachment on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes.  Scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula and with the mixer running on low add the eggs one at a time.  Beat on medium-high for another 2 to 3 minutes.  Scrape down the sides.

On low speed, slowly pour in the milk, oil, and vanilla. Mix for 4 to 6 minutes on medium-high until the batter becomes white and almost doubles in volume.  Don’t skimp on time here.

Sift together the flour, baking powder, and salt. On low speed, add in the flour mixture until the batter just comes together.  Scrape down the sides and mix with the rubber spatula to ensure all the flour has been incorporated. 

Divide the batter among your three prepared pans.  Give each a quick whap on the countertop to help disperse the batter.  Sprinkle a heaping cup of the cacao nibs evenly among the top of the pans (reserving about ½ cup for the top of the frosted cake as a garnish).  Bake for about 30 minutes or until the cake tops turn golden and their middles are no longer jiggly (the edges should spring back slightly when gently poked). 

Cool completely on a wire rack.  Loosen each cake by running a knife along the edges and gently tapping the bottoms on the counter.  Gently invert the layers and store in the fridge wrapped in plastic wrap until ready to use. (They can be made up to 5 days in advance.)

for the coffee frosting and final assembly

In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream the butter and sugar with a paddle attachment on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes until fluffy and pale yellow.  Meanwhile, whisk together the milk, espresso powder, and salt.

Scrape down the sides of the stand mixer and on low speed, very slowly stream in the milk mixture.  The butter will clump up a bit when this happens, so only pour a few tbsp of liquid at a time.  Don’t add more until the liquid gets fully incorporated.  Be patient.  Use immediately.

For assembly, place three small pieces of parchment paper on top of a cake plate or serving platter; they should overlap slightly (you’ll remove them after you frost the cake; they are there to help reduce your mess).  Select which cake layer you want for your bottom layer (reserve your best layer for the top) and invert so that the top of the cake is turned over on the parchment paper, and the flat smooth bottom layer is facing up. 

Using a pastry brush, spread about ½ the passion fruit syrup over the bottom layer.  Then top with a healthy dosing of the passion fruit curd.  It will slide a bit. Use your judgment on how much you’d like for the bottom layer (you’ll repeat this again with the next layer), you should have plenty to work with.  Sprinkle a thin layer of cookie crumbs over the top.  Then spread one-third of the coffee frosting on top (this won’t be easy, just do the best you can). 

Place the second layer on top of the frosting, again inverted so the smooth bottom is facing up.  Spread the remaining passion fruit syrup on top.  Add another healthy dose of passion fruit curd.  Sprinkle with cookie crumbs.  (You can also reserve some cookie crumbs for the top layer, if you wish.) Top with remaining cake layer (this can either be inverted or with the top facing right side up, your preference; inverted will be flat and more smooth while the top facing up will yield a slightly more rustic effect).

Using an offset spatula, frost the top with the remaining coffee frosting. (Dip the offset spatula occasionally in hot water to help ensure the top gets smooth.)  You can fill in the side crevices with any leftover curd and/or frosting and smooth using the spatula.  Garnish with the remaining cacao nibs.  Any leftover cookie crumbs will work well here too. Remove the parchment paper.

Transfer the cake to the freezer for an hour or so (long enough so that the layers will set).  Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for up to five days (or store for up to 2 weeks in the freezer).  Let the cake warm up for at least an hour before serving.

Serves 12 to 16 people

Notes:

-You can buy the passion fruit puree (see here on some tips for where to find it), but I like to make mine.  To do this, you’ll need top whirl the pulp from about 8 passion fruit in a food processor for about 15 seconds (the pulp is easily removed by slicing open the passion fruit, discard the outer shell).  Measure out 1 cup for the curd and any remaining pulp can be frozen.  In total, for this cake you’ll need about 12 to 15 passion fruit (or a little less than 2 cups passion fruit puree, divided).

-You’ll have extra of the passion fruit curd, which I did at the recommendation from Katie, of butter tree.  My favorite way to eat it was with a banana, some pineapple, and yogurt.  You won’t regret having extra, so I’ve worked a little surplus into the recipe (which I usually don't like doing, but if you are going through all this trouble you might as well enjoy the leftover bits ...).

-If you don’t have cake flour you can use 2 cups plus ½ cup plus 2 tbsp all-purpose flour and ¼ cup plus 2 tbsp cornstarch.  (The ratio is 2 tbsp cornstarch for every 1 cup flour, replacing 2 tbsp flour.)

-Everything can be made ahead of time, except for the coffee frosting.

-I’ve used whole milk with a little plain yogurt mixed in, in place of the buttermilk in a pinch.

-Have leftovers?  They can be frozen.