An Unconventional Valentine

There is a negative thirty-six degree wind chill in Boston today.  It is Valentine’s Day.  In hopes of a nice meal, Brett and I have sacrificed three chickens for the preparation of a ramen broth from the sadistic souls at Momofuku.

In a peculiar development that speaks to the mental illness of my family, my brother—who lives in Virginia where it is a balmy fourteen degrees—is making the very same ramen.  Consequently, there was no discussion of our respective soup plans, nor was there collusion to use broth to fight the cold four hundred miles apart. 

We are simply cut from the same cloth of people who will spend, at minimum, ten ungodly hours hacking chickens and reducing steeped kombu.  Our lineage has the patience for such a task and the stupidity not to know better.

Momofuku ramen is a bitch, in the words of my brother. (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

Luckily, the people we attract—the depraved souls—find this activity somewhere along the spectrum of romance and gratuitous torment.

I do not have this recipe for you today.  You will never get the hours calculating the weight of deboned animal carcasses and rendered bacon fat back. One can only hope, for the good of humanity, there are but few humans capable of such idiocy outside the confines of a professional kitchen.

I do, however, have a very good cookie recipe for you, sane person.  One that should surprise and delight without bone cracking or blood or cursing, if done properly.

It uses only five ingredients and shamelessly declines flour, making the cookies needlessly—but deliciously—hip.  That they are gluten-free is not the point.  The point is that they are quite good and easy and suitable for your friends with celiac disease. 

The concept is fairly simple.  Take peanut butter (a winning beginning) and add brown sugar and eggs and three hundred and fifty degrees.  I thought about making them again and adding in cayenne and scraped vanilla bean seeds.  But I did not have the energy today.  You can imagine what babysitting a painfully slow simmering pot of chicken parts and pulverized mushrooms does to a person.

In essence, this recipe is about as far away as one can get from Momofuku ramen.  None of the ingredients require research, nor do you have to involve a calculator at any point in the process. (Odds are you probably have the necessary items in your pantry right now.)

There are, however, a few unifying factors worth mentioning.  Both recipes have New York origins—hailing from very popular city spaces—and are very good.

They are also both capable of heating up the joint.  Which is really the whole point on a day like today. 

Sea Salted Peanut Butter Cookies

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen and Ovenly: Sweet and Salty Recipes from NewYork’s Most Creative Bakery

Ingredients:

1¾ cups (335 grams) packed light brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

1¾ cups (450 grams or one 16-ounce jar) of smooth peanut butter (see note)

Sea salt, for garnish

Instructions:

In a medium bowl, whisk together the light brown sugar and eggs until smooth.  Whisk in the vanilla extract and the peanut butter until everything becomes fully combined and turns lighter in color.  It will not be as thick as regular cookie dough.

Chill the dough in the freezer for about 30 minutes. This will help the dough set and scoop well. 

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

When ready, take out the cookie dough.  If the edges of the dough look like they have frozen a bit, stir the dough again briefly.  Scoop out about 2 heaping tablespoons of dough per cookie, setting the mounds a couple inches apart.  (Having a scooper is helpful.)  You should be able to fit about 10 to 12 cookies per sheet. Sprinkle each mound lightly with sea salt.

Place one sheet of cookies in the freezer for 15 minutes.  This is the first one you will bake.  Place the other sheet of cookies in the fridge.  Set the oven to 350 degrees.

After 15 minutes, place the freezer sheet into the oven and place the fridge sheet into the freezer.  Keeping the cookies very cold will help them keep their shape better.

Bake the cookies for 15 to 20 minutes, or until they turn golden at the edges.  The middles will still be slightly soft.  Let the cookies set for a minute or two on the hot sheet and then transfer to a wire rack to cool.  Repeat with remaining cookies. 

Let cool completely before eating.  This will help the cookies properly set so that their edges are crisp and their centers are chewy.

Makes about 20 cookies

Notes:

-I only tried this with regular (not natural) peanut butter. Processed peanut butter is alleged to yield a better shape.

-The longer you keep the scooped cookies chilled the longer their cooking time will be, so be flexible with their time in the oven, if necessary.

Chocolate Krantz Cakes Plus Other Peculiar and Beautiful Things

There are a lot of beautiful things out there.  And I am going to list some of my favorites now.

This Selby.

This pink wine. 

These scribbles.  

  

This magazine. 

This diary in the garden and the kitchen.

This manifesto.

This wine cave.

This garagiste.

This coffee shop. 

This bar in Paris. 

This offbeat illustrator.

This movie about “a drunkard.”

These cookie cutters. 

This open letter to people unlikely to respond.

And now this cake.

Since Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, I thought I’d post something va-va-voom-y. With chocolate.  (Just in case the baked molasses apples and references to Edgar Allan Poe didn’t quite do it for you last year.)

I had a very hard time figuring out which picture to select to début this thing called a chocolate kranz. You see, each step of making the yeasted cake is beautiful.  Each inch.  And so I documented it all. On Twitter.  (The images are embedded in the instructions below.) Not an entirely dreamy approach, but neither is naming something “kranz cake” and expecting people to swoon.

I guess, in the end, it all boils down to this:

“There are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and to eat each other's cooking and say it was good.”          
-Brian Andreas 

I hope you enjoy chocolate cakes; pink wines; and peculiar, beautiful things with your loved one(s) this week. 

Chocolate Krantz Cakes

Adapted from Jerusalem: A Cookbook

Ingredients:

for the dough

4¼ cups (530g) all-purpose flour, sifted (plus extra for dusting)

½ cup (100g) sugar

2 tsp active dry yeast

grated rind of a lemon

3 eggs

½ cup water

rounded ¼ tsp kosher salt

2/3 cup (150g) unsalted room temperature butter, cut into ¾ inch cubes

canola oil, for greasing

for the filling

scant ½ cup (50g) confectioners’ sugar

1/3 cup (30g) unsweetened cocoa powder (I used Ghirardelli)

4½ oz (130g) dark chocolate (I used Taza chocolate), melted

½ cup (120g) unsalted butter, melted

1 cup (100g) pecans, toasted and coarsely chopped

2 tbsp demerara sugar

for the syrup

2/3 cup water

1¼ cup (260g) sugar

sea salt, for sprinkling (optional)

Instructions:

In a stand mixer with a dough hook attachment, combine flour, sugar, yeast, and lemon zest; mix on low speed for 1 minute.  With the mixer still on low speed, add eggs, one at a time, and then slowly add the water and mix for a few seconds; increase the speed to medium and mix for 3 minutes or until the dough comes together.  Add the salt and then begin to add the butter, a cube at a time, with the mixer still running.  Continue mixing for 10 minutes on medium speed, until the dough becomes shiny, smooth, elastic, and slaps the sides of the bowl.  (During the mixing you may need to scrape down the sides of the mixer or add a dusting of flour if the dough is sticking.)

Place the dough into a bowl lightly oiled with canola oil; cover with plastic wrap and leave overnight in the fridge to rise.

The next day, make the filling by mixing together the confectioners’ sugar, cocoa powder, melted chocolate, and melted butter.  You’ll get a spreadable mixture a little more watery than a paste; set aside.

Grease two loaf pans 9 x 4 inches with some canola oil and then line them with parchment paper.  Divide the dough in half and leave half covered in the bowl in the fridge.  On a lightly floured surface, roll out half the dough into a rectangle 15 x 11 inches.  Be sure to trim the edges to make them straight and even (the corners should be at 90 degree angles), this will greatly help when you roll up the dough.

Using an offset spatula (or knife) spread half the chocolate filling mixture over the dough, leaving ¾ inch around all the edges uncovered.  See here.  Sprinkle half the pecans on top of the chocolate and then half of the demerara sugar on top of that. See here.

Brush a little water along the short side of the dough at the end farthest away from you.  Using both hands, roll up the dough, starting with the short end closest to you, like you are rolling up a yoga mat, carpet, roulade, etc. (take your pick).  Turn the dough 90 degrees, so that it is parallel (and no longer perpendicular) to you.  Rest the rolled up dough on its seam.

Using a sharp knife, trim a ½ inch off both the ends of the roll and then cut the roll in half, lengthwise.  (The long inner chocolate ribbons will become exposed with this step; it will feel wrong, but it won’t be.)  Position each half so that the ribbons of chocolate are facing up towards you (again, the inner layers will be exposed here).  Gently braid the two halves together by tucking one half under the other and then repeating this with the top half, by crossing it over and then tucking it under the other half. Continue until the halves are fully entwined.  Pinch each end together.  See here for what the finished product will look like.

Carefully lift the braided dough up and place it into one of your prepared pans.  Repeat this process with the other half of the dough reserved in the fridge. See here. 

Cover the pans with a damp kitchen towel and let rise in a warm spot 1-1½ hours (it will only rise slightly).  While the loaves are rising, set the oven to 375 degrees.

When ready, bake the cakes for about 30 minutes, or until a cake tester or toothpick comes out clean when inserted into the middle of each cake.  While the cakes are baking, make the syrup by combining the water and sugar in a saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until the sugar just dissolves; set aside.  (The syrup can be warm but it should not be piping hot.)

When the cakes come out of the oven, immediately brush all of the syrup over the cakes.  It will feel like there is too much syrup, but be sure to use it all.  Sprinkle with sea salt, if desired.  Leave the cakes to cool until they are warm (not hot) to the touch and then remove them from their pans and let cool completely.

Makes 2 loaf cakes

Notes:

-My plan for the next round of cakes: more salt and some orange zest in the dough plus some citrus juice and orange blossom water in place of some of the water for the syrup.  The cakes were lovely, but were pleading for more citrus, in my opinion.  Perhaps some cardamom too.  This is an intense cake, but extremely pleasurable to make.  And indisputably beautiful.

-For the chocolate I used a mixture of 60% and 80% Taza chocolate.

-If you can’t find demerara sugar, you can use granulated or brown sugar.

-Leftovers can be easily stored in the freezer.

-This recipe is not easy, nor is it quick.  But the dough is lovely to work with.  And the end result is perfect with a cup of coffee for breakfast.

Baked Molasses Apples for Bleeding Hearts and Dark Souls

The line between beauty and crime scene is a bit blurred with these baked apples.  They don’t arrive neatly packaged and wrapped in pink ribbon. They are not pretty in a conventional sense.  They haven’t been shifted and sauced in preparation for their photo shoot. 

But they are beautiful. And raw.  Like seeing a cast off upturned umbrella in the rain.  Like having peonies as wide as dessert plates start to drop their petals.  Or what hair looks like at 4 am. Real.  Beautiful.

A glossy dark syrup forms during the baking which lends the apples more complexity.  Here they become one part Edgar Allan Poe and one part Catherine Denevue.  If black satin became a dessert, this would be it.

They aren’t too sweet, but they’re rich.  The apples nestle closely together and get cooked for a while, bathing in their own juices, until these ladies bust their insides.  They still manage to retain their rosy hue ever so slightly, but they get transformed into something else entirely.  Something a bit more sophisticated. And dark.

The molasses gives these baked apples soul and the red wine adds depth.  The resulting fruit isn’t frilly or fancy.  Eaten warm, with a dollop of mascarpone, there is nothing like them. This is an everyday dessert that still feels very special.

At this point, you may very well be wondering if some kind of dark Valentine’s Day theme is lurking deep within these little wrinkled lovelies.  I’ve never been one for heart-shaped boxes or for things that have been feverishly truffled.  I tend to prefer sweets with a little edge.  And it just so happens this is a dessert that you can eat with a knife.  Which is my kind of wonderful.  So what else can I say?  I love these warm, dark apples.  With every beat of my tell-tale heart.

Baked Molasses Apples

Adapted from Always With Butter

Ingredients:

2 tbsp butter, plus greasing

4 apples

Zest of 1 orange

2 tbsp brown sugar

pinch of nutmeg

1 tsp cinnamon

Pinch of salt

~1/4 cup whole pecans, very roughly chopped

~1/4 cup molasses 

~1/4 cup red wine

Instructions:

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Grease a baking dish with butter. Core the apples with an apple corer or paring knife; scoop out a little more of the flesh of the apple top (where the stem was) with a melon baller so you will be able to fit the filling inside.  Place the apples in your baking dish.  In a small bowl, combine 2 tbsp butter and the orange zest, brown sugar, spices, salt, and pecans.  

Fill the apples with the butter and brown sugar mixture.  Spoon the molasses over the top of the apples.  Pour red wine in the bottom of your baking dish until the dish is just covered.

Bake for 45-60 minutes, occasionally spooning the liquid that forms on the bottom of the pan over the apples.  The apples are done when they are wrinkly and just start to split their skins.

Makes four baked apples.

Notes:

-I used pink lady apples here.  I think they have a nice sugar/acid balance, though their name alone is enough to lure me.

-Perk up wine drinkers: this is a way to use leftover red wine, should you find yourself with some.

-Always With Butter is a beautiful blog with gorgeous food. If you are in the mood to stare at desserts, you might want to do some peeping at its recipe index.

Yogurt Seduced By Chocolate

Life is full of the unexpected. It’s lovely when you peel off the sunset tangerine skin of an orange to reveal deep garnet flesh, signaling that your fruit is actually a blood orange. Pulling off your covers at 6 am to reveal that your apartment is 53 degrees and has an improperly working shower water heater is not the stuff of sunsets and gemstones. But that's life. I try not to dwell.

I’ve grown accustom to this dichotomy and have developed, what some may deem, an unusual sense of humor because of it. This week, I chuckled when I noticed my grocery shopping list included bittersweet chocolate, cocoa powder, and Draino. Revealing that I am either a woman on the verge—deciding whether to turn towards cacao or sodium hypochlorite—or a lady with a clogged drain that loves chocolate. Luckily, today I am the latter.

Which leads me to the ultimate unexpected chocolate delicacy: chocolate yogurt. I've made it many times and it never ceases to impress and delight. It's really more like chocolate pudding masquerading as yogurt. You could even go so far as to say it is a yogurt that’s been sexed up, like it’s wearing strands of pearls and red panties.

It could be argued this yogurt comes to the table with its seductive accessories a few days late, given that we’ve passed Valentine’s Day. But even if you think you've had your fill of cacao (mon dieu!), the chocolate in this yogurt is subtle, light, and refreshing.

At the moment, I can’t think of anything quite like making homemade chocolate sauce to fold into milk and then warm overnight into yogurt. The yogurt sets to pale brown, with a luscious cream layer on top and a thicker chocolate layer at the bottom. And just like red panties—really now—is there ever actually a bad time for chocolate? Especially when it’s not expected.

Chocolate Yogurt

3 3/4 cups 2% milk

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa

1/2 cup sugar

1/4 cup half and half

1/3 cup coffee

6 oz 2% Greek yogurt

1/4 cup maple syrup, or more to taste

Heat milk in a medium saucepan until it boils, whisking occasionally. Remove from heat and let cool until lukewarm (about 90 degrees). In another pan, while milk is heating, combine cocoa, sugar, half and half and coffee and whisk on medium heat until smooth and glossy (it will look like chocolate syrup). Set aside until milk has cooled. If the chocolate sauce sits too long and starts to harden, simply warm it slightly again, though you don't want the sauce to be too hot because you'll eventually be adding it to your yogurt and your lukewarm milk.

Whisk the Greek yogurt into your chocolate sauce and then add to your milk. Add maple syrup and whisk until combined. At this stage, you may want to taste to make sure your yogurt is sweet enough; simply add more maple syrup as needed.

Pour the yogurt mixture into 6 oz glass jars (without their tops) and then into a yogurt maker for 12 hours (it will look soupy). Refrigerate before eating.

Makes about 7-6 oz jars.

Notes

-Alas, you need a yogurt maker for this. While not normally a fan of specialty gadgets (one has to be choosy when living in a studio apartment), I love my yogurt maker and use it more than I ever thought I would. It's from Williams-Sonoma (and Euro Cuisine is the brand).

-Yes, technically you are using yogurt to make yogurt. But you need to get your cultures somehow (and this is the easy way). Greek yogurt adds nice body. Having a little fat helps too.

-I've used honey instead of maple syrup and it also works well.

-This does require some planning. I usually try to make it a few hours before I go to bed.

-I like the intense chocolate flavor non-alkalized cocoa powder provides, so that's what I tend to use.